The Overwhelmed American
No, it’s not all in your mind. America is slowly collapsing
“When nations grow old, the arts grow cold, and commerce settles on every tree.” William Blake
Nope, this is not a political rant. It’s the perspective of a psychologist who is “downstream” of “the river of commerce”, trying to pick up the pieces, one patient at a time, in a culture that values profit over people – at all costs.
Just reading that subheading above: “America is slowly collapsing” sounds drastic and overly dramatic, doesn’t it? Doubt it? Read Jared Diamond’s authoritative books about how societies collapse, especially when they can’t cope with upheaval. The upshot: sometimes they collapse slowly, but many times quickly.
First, full disclosure: I don’t belong to any political party – I can make my own decisions, thank you – and I’m not an “anti-capitalist leftist.” But I believe we should value people over profit, rather than profit over people. Other cultures have already figured this out and are happier and healthier for it. Whether it’s Scandinavia or South America or other ‘Blue Zone” communities, they’re what we often refer to as “collectivist”, rather than “individualistic.” We’re in trouble as a society because we lack social cohesion and mutual trust. Need more proof: January 6th, 2020.
It’s been said that you can judge a country by the way it treats its women and children. And in these two areas, we fail miserably. However, I would add to this list: its elderly, its individuals with physical and mental health disabilities, its environment, and its indigenous populations.
Ever wonder why the young (and our society in general), either overtly or unconsciously, often disparage (or even secretly despise) the elderly and disabled? Answer: because they fear (perhaps unconsciously) becoming what our society seeks to render invisible and make irrelevant. And because they know, deep down inside, that their day is coming.
I share the following thoughts with you because I’ve noticed that over the last 30 years, my patients have come to internalize the social ills and inequities of American culture as their own personal failings. People of color and lower- and working-class whites are most susceptible to this.
Like the proverbial frog in the slowly heating frying pan, most of us can’t sense the danger we’re in now and what lies ahead for our fragile democracy.
A further note to skeptical readers: many individuals will instinctively respond to this article as: “Well, have you ever traveled to the 2nd world – it’s horrible there” (I have). Most Americans, of course, have not (though much of America is considered to be “2nd world” or “2nd-tier” relative to other countries). And we’re lucky (well, at least some of us) to be living in a relatively wealthy nation (well, one that is 35 trillion dollars in debt. So I’m not sure how that will play out…). But most importantly, compared to “first world, industrialized nations”, we are falling way behind and fast on nearly all health, quality of life, and social mobility metrics that count.
My goal here is not to catalog all the nation's ills. It would take too long anyway as there are just too many. But ills they are, and they eventually manifest as depression, anxiety disorders, cancer, severe mental illness, autoimmune diseases, obesity, a shortened life span, and a host of other ailments. They also manifest in our children as mass school shooters and a nation with as many as 10-15% of its citizens who are true sociopaths or have narcissistic personality disorders (sadly, these two traits now seem to almost be a job requirement for politicians). And those are just two mental health disorders that are problematic on multiple levels.
I’ve detailed elsewhere the enormous stressors we’re all facing as well as some practical strategies to maintain at least some sense of well-being (and maybe still live a good life anyway - it’s possible). To that article linked above, I would add/or re-emphasize that America’s democracy is now even more at risk because: 1. Corruption exists at almost every level of American life, 2. Our trusted institutions are failing: higher education, healthcare, the “Electoral College”, the Supreme Court, etc., 3. Social inequality and economic mobility have never been worse, and 4. America is now essentially a corporation and whether or not you know it, nearly every aspect of American life has now been monetized and commodified.
So, to get to the point: some of my dear readers and clients have asked for some more advice on how to cope. To wit:
In any situation where you are feeling truly overwhelmed and anxious, ask yourself: Do I have any control over this situation? If the answer is yes, then ask yourself: what’s the single most important thing I should do first to help fix it? Then do it. If the answer is no, then let it go. I know it’s hard to do and I struggle with letting things go too. But I’ve decided: I’m not going to let a continuous flow of terrible international tragedies rob me of my precious remaining time on earth. After all, if we’re lucky, we each only have about four thousand weeks on the planet. And I’m well through most of them. Gulp.
The second most important question you should ask yourself is the brilliant one posed by the great Jungian psychologist James Hollis: Does this situation, person, job, place, or decision enlarge my spirit and my life? Or diminish it? Listen carefully to your inner voice, and you’ll know the answer. And what to do. Do I pose these cognitive behavioral and Jungian questions to myself and my clients? Hell yes - and often.
Until my next article. Thanks for reading.
PS: I make no money from any of the above links.